Was the greatest king planet earth had ever seen; so great that on earth his kingdom was without borders. He strode the galaxy assured of his wonderosity and was fêted and honoured by other kings on other planets with gifts of stellar soft silks, sparkling jewels and passionate varied safe sex: But his greatest pleasure was the coxless fours (that’s four men in a small boat rowing as if their lives depended upon it) and his dream was to own a team even greater at the event than those demigods of Olympic rowing, Redgrave, Cracknell, Foster and Pinsent
Silliman though had a weeny, weenie, (or possibly weeny weenie) ego failing. Magnificent, he knew he was, greater than “more”, but just to make sure of the certainty of his worth, other men in his kingdom (and that meant all ) had their right arm severed at birth. This presented a problem in planetary sport as competition after competition his sculling four stalwarts would be circling at speed fairly close to the start line while their rivals, revealing magnificent egos in tight fitting bright lycra shorts, ascended the podium, received their gold medals and sprayed pox riven media scum (aren’t they all?) with champagne
Verily i say unto thee, there is a G class planet beset with problems of global proportions; problems of health, prosperity, war, peace, society, starvation and survival itself. These problems demand the potential and attention of the smartest, most intelligent and compassionate minds on the planet. Tragically, by traditions of global denial, fragile ego and self aggrandisement, half of that potential, half of those minds necessary to the solving of these (so far intractable) problems are sidelined, ignored or barred from participation by being locked in an “elevate us by your abasement” / “know your place” closet marked “women”.
Clearly, that great king Silliman, magnificent as he was, is not alone in cutting his magnificent nose to spite his equally magnificent face. So, dear reader, join me in thanking our lucky stars that we don’t live on a sad, benighted, pathetic, one armed planet like that.
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